::Friday, June 25, 2004::
have u ever made 1 mistake.. and it changed your entire course of life? i never had thought that 1 simple mistake and everything can come crashing down.. i made a mistake.. and due to that.. i saw hope itself crumble in front of me while all i can do is just stand there and watch.. watch it fall.. im slowly picking up my my pieces now but it will never be the same again.. i know it.. whatever it is.. im still at it.. slowly picking up the pieces.. one by one.. one day.. i can restore it.. but the scars will remain.. serving as a painful reminder of that one mistake.. im now praying for things to be alrite again.. back to how we planned things to be.. praying for the strength to continue picking up my pieces.. praying one day that
you can give me an answer.. how i wish that i can turn back time.. warn myself not to be so $tupid.. but then.. won't anybody wish they cud do tht too? wht makes me so special? lol well there's always dreams.. that's the only solitude i can go to where i can experience peace within my own chaos..
heh wht's there to do when u can't sleep and keep thinking stuff.. babble.. and no one to hear me babbling.. put it on blogger.. haha man.. sad posts.. but i just needed to vent.. again.. guys tell me if u are annoyed by it and i'll vent elsewhere ^.^ anyways ed.. gl on ur exams and moving to a new room.. rei.. all the best to u.. ur exams and ur girl.. and josh.. $crew ur ps2 u noob haha kima.. wish my dad were tht generous..
well trying to go back to sleep.. hope i can anyway >.<
>> posted by | rain_ | on 2:53 AM.
::Tuesday, June 22, 2004::
hmm been thinking about so much stuff lately.. tomorry she's finally leaving.. can't believe this.. what's gonna happen after tm? we promised we'll see each other again.. but then it's still a long time from now.. can we even be together again? i dunno.. distance.. im beginning to detest this word.. but i shouldn't let distance be a factor rite? i dunno.. im just rambling here.. my mind is too clouded.. i know we'd be alrite.. have faith i tell myself.. but deep down in me.. i dunno where to establish this faith.. i still cant help myself being sad.. heh i think im being a pengster here going on abt how sad my life is.. i'll stop now >.< just tht i needed somewhere to vent haha if anything i still got my bottle of whiskey.. probably need help sleeping tonite anyway..
newez, rei.. all the best for ur exams yo and yea.. save it ur trips till kl baby! then we have a blast of a time =) haha too bad ranz.. u can stay in canada kao all the chix.. but touch yen and u die k? =P oh yea edwin just turned 17 yo.. all grown up.. still have a drinking session yo! haha we do it some time aight? and josh.. heard abt ur multiple rejection from ings haha funny but yea.. keep up the faith.. if u do.. i'll keep mine up too =) well yea..tht's it for now.. mind my mood swings during this week.. hope my whiskey lasts.. >.< hehe
>> posted by | rain_ | on 6:12 PM.
::Wednesday, June 16, 2004::
Haha...glad you guys posted and nice post ranz >_< im not going to diss u or anything cos you know im not that kinda guy >.< V. Its been awhile since i read or had any contact with you guys man, last contact made was gunbound with Josh which was brief and short but nevertheless refreshing. Haha Josh, its cool bro,when i told u the study bit by bit thing,lol im doing right now too!!! And my exams is like this Saturday - Thursday. Unfortunately due to the circumstances of living far away and having classes from 9-5.15 everyday i find that bit by bit just dont cut it hahah so i improved it and go chunk by chunk ^^. Heh, sounds rushed but no worries guys...i do my best and i have confidence in my ability to memorize stuff lol but i also have a lot of confidence that i will forget it all...
I already have a rough plan of how to distribute my study material into the rest of these days...i mean hrs that i have. Tomorrow i'll only get back at like 11pm and will definitely be bushed and feeling in the dumps but i have to stick to the schedule i made and hopefully study enough to get a decent grade lol....Its so different from SaS, mid-terms didnt mean squat then man! Now every subject im taking is like 35% of final mark -.- and that aint good if i dont fkn prepare and im serious. I keep emphasizing I here cos i really need to do work and i wont be coming online most probably for awhile cos i desperately need to focus on the task at hand and not get distracted so guys if u see me online send me away to study even though i just studied for 5 hrs. Just kick me lol.
Ranz, im sorry to say that i will not be coming back this mid-term due to financial difficulties >_< you're not the only one having $$ issues hehehe. I dont wanna blow all that cash on a 2 week trip back, money can be better utilized by my parents to do other things. Im not SG lol, i dont need to go back 4 times a yr at every freaking term and whine and brag bout their dam lifestyle and country. Lol i mean enough pls? All u fkn talk bout is SG and once again why the fk u bother to come to Aus if SG has everything u dumb SG cunts. If ur purpose was to come here and fk around then fly back 4 times a yr might as well u stay ur kiasu asses there lar. Jeez....every freaking time lol.
Lol anyways enough bout SG, always get me in PMS'y mood lol. I dont like that =/. Its not a good habit or trait to have right >_<. Rans ur post dam long but nice to read mate. Josh i havent taken any pictures of myself lol and im not gonna set up the web-cam even if my bro is leaving in 2 days and its available ^^. Shock-tactics baby~ thats the way to go. I promise u guys i gonna keep long hair and thats what i've been setting out to do. End of the yr when we go K.L its gonna be leetox,why? becos it just is lol. Reason I not coming back is for KL!!! The bigger picture!!! So lets all aim for it hahaha. I have to admit for now my gut feeling is saying my mid-terms isnt gonna turn out very nicely and if it doesnt i pray and hope my mum will understand and that i will do better in finals >_<. Adapting the Bit by Bit method into my everyday life now, necessary otherwise i seem to forget things in a flash and i dont like to re-read stuff. I rather do it and keep it in the head. Cos it gets annoying to waste all ur freaking time to re-read. Lol...stating the obvious.. I mean can't be helped,I admit im a lazy dude and if there was a chance i didnt need to work as hard lol u know i'll take it >_<.
What i need is a good push and some long-term goals like Josh aiming for Diploma even if he's being abused by some of the retards from IB. Too bad i can't come back this mid-term ya if not we can go mess around lol. Show them some Aussie coolness or something hahaha. Oh yea, ranz, u havent heard the bad side of me being here in Aus man and just to clear that wrong impression, my life is like Josh, only just a few steps away from IB-ness. For every 8 days of my life i spend 1 day on the train. Hehehe and its not fun to study on the train and suddenly ur head starts spinning. Its no fun to know that ur already late even though you woke up at 8 and class starts at 9am. Its no fun to wake up at 7 and fallback asleep cos the bed feel so dam leet compared to the cold hahaha.
2.32am haha..was hoping to catch an early night but i see that is inevitable cos if i did then i would've blown my chance at a few chapters of Bio. Doubt my post is as long as urs rans lol cos u had a LOT of things.
Ed : Where u at ducky? Fly south after the chicks kar?
Julz: Stay cool mate, just hang in there a bit more!!!! Jia Yiu!
Josh: Lol...ermm..stay ugly and...ugly.
Rans: Leaving back for the Motherland i say, don't worry, u won't be missed, im sure Brunei's economy will be better this way.
Chua: Sorry we booted you from the blog ya mate, don't worry during the hols i try to cr8 another template so that enough to fit all the R.s.
Johan: Been awhile Albie, UK treating u fine as usual? Single or taken oredi? Hahah im sure the blondes love a green peon carrying a sack of gold so no troubles there.
Pak Ming: Though not R.s, still leet friends kan? lol, arent we like Godbrothers or something? cos ur dad is my bro's Godfather right? cant remember hahaha. Don't worry bout IB, u got Ugly over there for another yr,Im sure life there will be hilariously funny all the time when u glance at his um ugliness >_< V.
Aights, thats my post for now,like i said,keep me away from the pc for the time being cos this mid-term really counts towards my finals =/ i be needing every % i can get from it.
>> posted by | ^rei | on 2:11 AM.
::Thursday, June 10, 2004::
oh man.. today i totally got owned in mechanics.. i saw question 1 and was like O_o flip to question 2 and was like o_O then onto question 3 and O_O by the end of it all.. im @_@ haha the paper was the hardest maths paper i've sat so far.. well other than O lvl A maths.. hated tht subject.. din even finish the last 11 marks question haha at least that's over >.< hmm wht else.. o yea had bio as my first test yesterday after like 2 weeks of no exams.. bio was ok i guess but i found Module 2 kinda tough.. bleh and tm chem again.. sigh.. hope i do well in chem.. *prays for easy paper* hehehe
man i miss yen~ haha here i go again.. but yea i do~ dun think will get to see her much this week since i got exams.. talk on fon oso cannot for long.. and she leaving in wht? exactly 2 weeks time..eee frustrating.. at least we promised to be friends no matter wht.. and yea.. promise to meet again in 8 years haha
o yea congrats to Adeline! the first girl on our tag board!! the ones before praising rei.. well they're fake.. just to let u know.. just wanted to fill the tagboard wahahahaha o yea forgot to thank rei for the tagboard.. although no one tags.. sigh.. are we tht unpopular? how can a bunch of good looking guys be unpopular? lol
well gotta go back to chem revision.. revise fast.. finish fast.. can call yen up.. talk longer =) newez.. cheers!
>> posted by | rain_ | on 12:56 AM.
::Friday, June 04, 2004::
OH GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ MAN. Instant advice to all those wannabe last minute essay writers, DO NOT and i mean DO NOT think ur cool and wait 2 days before the essay is due then u start writing it up and find out that the 1st day u spent trying to remember what notes u wrote out and where did u research the materials from. 2nd day u actually start writing the essay and lol u better pray to God for giving u the stamina to endure 10 hrs of pure essay writing baby~!
FINALLY i finish this bloody HOI (History of Ideas) essay. 1.2k words nia but freaking annoying as essays can be. Dam referencing and organisation. Piss me off -.-''. Thats 1 huge load of stress off my ass hehehe. Been sleeping 3hrs daily lately. Im starting to worry i turn back into Bruneian Dracula. I cant afford to not wake up and theres no maid to wake me up so i is GG no RE if i wake up late. I pray i dont fall ill in the next few days cos i got a Monologue exam this coming Monday and if i get a sore-throat or something I am gg'ed. If i get Flu im gg'ed. Its currently 4.44am in the morning and i dont want to go to sleep cos i scared i wake up and its Saturday means i didnt hand in my essay by the due date and i worked my ass off for nothing. Im not really thinking right now cos i've been thinking for the past 10 freaking hrs about the essay hehehehee. I have to admit im not subject to as much stress as Joshy ol boy in IB Hell but its piling up >.< That can't be a good thing now can it =/. Hehehe nvm lar if it is then so be it , me and u same boat again Josh if liddat.
Ed posting most recently!?!! No way , chick dump him or something kar hehehehe. How's it going with the chick Ed? Smooth? Rough? U getting jiggy with it? Bleh 4.46 now and i type so much nonsense oredi lol. Thank God me is not drunk or high. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSA ^^ that felt good. Eh guys, i read an article on keeping Journals lol, its said to be one of the main sources of inspiration for some of the greatest writers in the world. Gives u a chance to reflect on yourself but i have oredi taken note that we have no time to reflect on ourselves lol. Julz u and me both exams in 2 weeks man ^^ Same Pe-ra-hu. No worries. You study, I study, we own. Hopefully i study lar, given the latest events in this week things have been going swell for me, a bit of an outlook on life in the academic world. Doing work, reading my notes, writing some notes lol. Nvr imagined i'd say this but its actually quite interesting cos it keep my mind occupied with useful material for the mean time hahahaa.
Don't stop typing baby~~~~ uh uh uh , just like how today i had to listen to 8 mins of a listening from a lecture for EAP assessment. 5 marks but dang , my hand gg no re after the teacher stopped the cd. Taking down notes like mofo man. Speed writing, use abbrev and drawings to makes my notes much faster. Can't put ur freakin pen/pencil down for a sec lol. If i didnt get 20/20 (=5/5), i'd be seriously annoyed cos I cramped my left hand writing out 5 pages of Lit notes the day before then i cramp my dam hand the next day on 8 mins of jibberish lol. Not good -.- just not good -.-
Woot this is the stuff lol. Just typing and no thinking , i wonder how long i can last before my eyes go z_z.
Current Time: 4.53am
Currently doing: No thinking , just blogging
Jeez~ my 2.4 litre water bottle gg oredi....now i can't drink anything unless i shinobi out to the living room and grab me some wa-ta. Hmmm....cuz waking up in 2 hrs time, should i bath before him and make him late for the express train? Muahahha , nvr liked his fat ass anyways. He's just huge...and huge. Lol trying to pick up 3 chicks at 1 go hahahaa. Saddening , 1 is currently attached , another is single which he is going after, the other i have no freakin idea but confides in him and works 1 block opposite him, which btw is attached too. What in the WEIRD O_o, i wouldn't be proud of that kinda achievement mate~ , ur head bulging oredi dude , dont make it bloat anymore. Later it pop and u become Pengy~.
2 more mins to 5 am then i go pack ma bag and bras ma teeth. Lol weather is kinda cold O_O, its getting chilly in here nananananana. Hope my essay get a decent mark ahahaha though i did it in a day i still pre-planned the entire essay just didnt know how to write it out loloolol. Teacher says,"I want 24 hrs of confidence from u today Mervyn, now Go. Go and finish that Essay!" Aye aye mon kapitan hahahaha. Did as per-requested. Unsure but still did as per-requested. 5.00am now , i guess i be doing my stuff and waiting in the room for awhile then get ready for school in a 2 hrs then go to school in 2hrs. BOOOYA~ >_< V , I am not ashamed of mumbling jibberish in a blog, i is not caring what u is thinkin cos u is da stinkin. Woot! Lamer - aights~ ^^ Laterz
>> posted by | ^rei | on 4:38 AM.
::Tuesday, June 01, 2004::
man this is gay.. edwin has been posting the most currently.. wht happened to rei? josh? the major posters.. nothing to talk abt is it? o yea whre is the ranz? tht guy still haven't accepted invite kah? too cocky for us is it?
hahaha man exam in a week... gotta study study study.. and have to memorize song oso.. (hehe josh u know wht i mean ya?) anyways just felt like posting.. got bored studying anyway.. man this past week has been great.. finally dawned me that my exam is in a week and tht wud be 2 weeks of not seeing her.. gayed.. sigh o well i can survive heh
u know wht.. i've been having strange feelings lately.. i'm not sure if im right feeling like this.. i get excited when she says she's going to call.. and i get happy even just hearing her voice for 5 mins.. when i see her.. everything changes.. like the world has become a brighter place.. im very happy now.. the way i am.. but is it right feeling this way? i dunno.. i seriously dunno wht's going on with me..
anyways i better stop.. im gonna get bombed wif all sorts of insults from this.. one of them being "gay" rite guys? but hey~ we need someone to talk ranz's place for awhile ya? haha cheers
>> posted by | rain_ | on 2:30 PM.
